Couples, Relationships & Psychosexual Therapy

Counselling for Couples and Relationship Issues

Today’s hectic pace of life and current economic circumstances have put huge pressures on many couples, and we truly understand and are committed to helping.

COMMUNICATION DIFFICULTIES

Have you ever felt that there are times in your relationship when better communication would help? In spite of your best efforts, problems don’t seem to get resolved between you and old issues come up again and again?

When we’re trying to talk things out, something happens that stops us from listening to what the other has to say.  Or else, we find ourselves reacting quite defensively because we don’t like what we’re hearing.   Perhaps we’ve even stopped listening altogether because we’ve heard it a hundred times before. Whatever it is, we no longer feel as close to each other and it’s really starting to affect the relationship. Problems in communicating about feelings honestly is usually the most common block to relationships, so the opportunity to improve this is the first important step to changing an unhappy situation.

Sometimes in order to keep the peace, you don’t say it when something is bothering you, weighing up the odds and deciding to stay quiet. However if this becomes a habit a relationship can be adversely affected in the long term as we put our energy more and more into other things.
We at Sandyford Wellness understand how ineffective communication can damage and put pressure on a relationship and when this happens we can help you put your relationship back on track.

CONFLICT


Conflict is a normal and necessary part of healthy relationships. After all, two people can’t be expected to agree on everything at all times. Therefore, learning how to deal with conflict—rather than avoiding it—is crucial. Conflict triggers strong emotions and can lead to hurt feelings, disappointment, and discomfort. When handled in an unhealthy manner, it can cause irreparable rifts, resentments, and break-ups. But when conflict is resolved in a healthy way, it increases our understanding of one another, builds trust, and strengthens our relationship bonds.

Everyone needs to feel understood, nurtured, and supported, but the ways in which these needs are met vary widely. It is important to acknowledge that both of your needs play important roles in the long-term success of your relationship, and each of you deserves respect and consideration. In personal relationships, a lack of understanding about different needs can result in distance, arguments, and break-ups. We work with couples to help each person understand the role of conflict and how to manage it positively within your relationship.

INFIDELITY

Infidelity generally arises for three main reasons, out of fear, loneliness or anger.  Often there is something missing or lost from the relationship that hasn’t been addressed.  And for the person who has been betrayed, it’s a trauma to discover that their partner has been ‘leading a double life’.   Whether someone has had an affair, or is engaging in risky behavior online, a relationship can become chaotic and suffer enormously while each of you comes to terms with what has happened, which can leave you both confused and unsure of what to do next.  Should you sweep it under the carpet, end the relationship or decide to stay together and address what lead to it happening?

We understand these very overwhelming feelings and our experience is that when a couple has a chance to stand back and look at what has happened, they are better positioned to start answering the question ‘should this relationship be given a second chance?’  We try to help couples to rebuild trust and develop ways to safeguard it from happening again.

FINANCIAL ISSUES

There’s no doubt that the current economic climate has touched all of our lives – even if we still have our jobs, there’s an element of uncertainty about the future. When we worry, we become stressed and our tolerance levels are lowered. We have a tendency to become more irritable because we are anxious, or perhaps withdrawn as we try to cope and figure out the best way forward.  Unfortunately, a relationship can become sensitive to ripple effects of worry and uncertainty.   It is during these times when we are faced with the unknown that it is especially important that couples work as a team, bringing their own resources and skills to help them during difficult times.

We find we are working more and more with couples whose relationship has been good up until recently and they are aware that the worry the recession has brought is starting to affect them because when they are not calm, it’s hard to stay level headed. However, they will have already identified that they need to keep things good between them.  Unfortunately, couples don’t always agree on the practical financial decisions of family finance and while disagreements don’t always lead to financial hardship there can still be a great deal of tension and worry arising from financial issues that has a real impact on the relationship.
Equally, problems in the relationship can have a real impact on family financial well-being and indeed the main source of poverty and financial hardship for adults and children is the breakdown of couple relationships.
Clients often say that having a third party who is impartial makes it a lot easier than trying to do it on their own.   When they realise that their partner isn’t trying to hurt them or push them away, it shifts the problem to what it’s really about and they can then focus on how they can work together  to get through it.

Psychosexual or Sex Therapy

A sex Therapist works with couples and individuals where the sexual difficulty is considered the primary problem in the relationship. The relationship needs to be motivated by change.

Initially a detailed history of each individual is required which provides the therapist with a deep understanding of the relationships as well as possible causes that have contributed to the sexual problem. Having studied and evaluated the relationship history the therapist embarks on a treatment plan, which is discussed and agreed with the client. This programme is a series of step by step behavioural tasks which clients complete in the privacy of their own home and is supported on each week. Goals are agreed and any ‘blocks’ will be addressed. Humour is an important element of the process, as so much about sex is playful and needs to be seen as such. The therapy ends when the goal has been achieved.

Eithne Bacuzzi        

Eithne Bacuzzi

Eithne Bacuzzi has twenty years counselling experience with both individuals and couples. She specialises in Relationship/ Marriage Counselling and Psychosexual Therapy.

Accreditation

Eithne is an accredited member of C.O.S.R.T (college of sexual and relationship Therapy). She is a member of the team in Relationships Ireland, as well as Sandyford Wellness Centre.

Specialist subject – Psychosexual Therapy

Because it appears sexual problems carry a certain stigma- this results in clients finding it extremely difficult to seek help. Eithne believes that sex is an important ingredient to satisfy fulfilling relationships. She works with individuals and couples from 18 years upwards where this area is affecting the all-encompassing relationships. ‘Fear’ is often the reason delay in seeking help.

Qualifications

  • Couple counselling Diploma
  • Psychosexual Therapy Diploma
  • Marital Counselling- Certificate
  • Practice and process of supervision- Certificate
  • Teen Counselling
  • Trainer (FETAC level 6)
  • Trainer in Sexual Education

Regular contributor to:

  • Irish Times (Health supplement)
  • Irish examiner (Feel Good supplement)
  • Also appeared on R.T.I on subject of ‘Divorce’- and have done many radio interviews relating to sexual matters.

To make an appointment with Eithne call her directly on Tel: 087-9029606 or email us via our Contact Form